heartaches

i wanted to know how he's doing. where is he right now, what he's doing. but i still haven't heard from him. where is he? what is he up to? i miss him...

he was hurt when i sort of called him merely an acquaintance. he is far from being one. i'm sorry...

he already changed his profile. status: single. can't blame him though. he should be very well on his way to moving on. i have to let go...

a friend cheering for me and his friend. i told him we can never be together, not at this time. he promised to pay for the expenses the day we get married and promised to be the godfather of all our kids. freak. touching freak.

and the voice that i've been waiting to hear. the only anchor right now in this sea raging in the storm. the only satisfaction to my yearning. the one who never failed to make me laugh and smile and feel good inside. the only sweet confusion i'm willing to endure... and i feel whole again...

lamentation

Inject me with a dose of reality
For I am in this oblivion devoid of any sanity
Give me a shot of sensitivity
No need for me to feel this numb to infinity

I have done what I thought would be the best
Then why do I still feel like I am the one in jest
I thought the best would be to let go
But now I think the loss hurts even more so

What have I done, what will I do?
Should I listen to myself, or choose you?
Will I let my heart rule, or my mind overpower?
Have both been playing tricks on me, I wonder

For I will never know what to really feel
Happy or sad, all seem to be surreal
Put a stop to all these thoughts of you
It also hurts, and that part is true

I have made a mistake and there’s a price to pay
I can’t pretend, I can’t stay
But I can’t let go that easily
A part of me still belongs to you wholeheartedly

I can’t force you to; you might not believe
You will not pretend, you might not take heed
But know that in my heart I have truly loved you
And I’m sorry for causing you all this sorrow…