somebody loved

we all have this hope of having somebody to love, who will love us in the same, even greater way, than we do love them.

someday, i hope to find that somebody who will turn me into somebody loved...

Rain turns the sand into mud
Wind turns the trees into bone
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Nights when the heat had gone out
We danced together alone
Cold turned our breath into clouds
We never said what we were dreaming of
But you turned me into somebody loved

Someday when we're old and worn
Like two softened shoes
I will wonder on how I was born
The night I first ran away from you

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

surprise!

i heard from him. but he didnt bear any good news.

still mad, as expected. he had glimpsed what i have felt then, he heard the voices from within. of course he was hurt. did he understand? i did not know. probably not. he was only hurt.

i told myself that i didn't do anything wrong by writing. it was the only outlet i have. my only expression of repressed thoughts and muffled cries. i told myself that i can't change that for anyone else.

not all surprises are good. but i believe in looking at the brighter side of things. at least now i'm aware of how he feels. i'm not wondering, i'm not left thinking. i wished to explain, to give assurance. but i know that i will never be in that position anymore. and that my words will only fall on deaf ears.

i was often told to think of happy thoughts. maybe, this lost and confused soul should listen too. happy thoughts to let me get by. but happiness is fleeting, isn't it?

then at least i had the chance to feel it. to be happy. even for just a moment... but until then, i know that i will wallow. i will again go through life dazed and trying to find the way. the same lost and confused soul...

the year that was...

The year that was gave me good memories to remember things and people by. It has given me a wonderful experience of going to different places, seeing and meeting different people, getting to know different cultures, and tasting various flavors of different countries and provinces in the country!

The year that was taught me yet again of loving and letting go. Again, I was faced with the realization that some things are just not meant to be, and not meant to last. I have been at fault at times, but I have given much. I have resisted some, and I have given in to a few. I have been the crazier version of me. But at times, I felt like I have glimpsed of another person I can be.

The year that was made me see things. Not at all clearly, but definitely shaped out visions of things I have hoped, wanted, and would like to achieve and attain. It made me see different options and made me want to actually take a step further.

And it’s time to say goodbye. To let go of some things. To let go of 2008. It came fast and went by just as quickly.

And it’s time to embrace the now. To accept the reality that another year has gone by, and that it’s now time to move on.

********

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven...

'cause you're my...
my true love, my whole heart
please don't throw that away
'cause i'm here for you...
please don't walk away and,
please tell me you'll stay...

-- from my guardian angel

unexpected

i was there and so was you...
but it's as if the distance never disappeared.
no bridge nor road,
will ever close the gap between us.

i can't demand, i cannot ask...
for i know the consequences now...
i will smile and i will nod...
for i see that you are doing just fine...