random

i've been acting weird lately, forgive me. i just need to create drama for myself. that is me. that is what i do. and i think it will take some more time for you to figure that one out. and a little more time to accept that. i just need to be heard. i just need to be reassured. i just need to be comforted. forgive me for that. love me for that.

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i still have nowhere to go. you just have to stick with me a little longer. don't bother putting me where i'm not supposed to be. don't think that i would love to go as well. but this is making me restless too. but i don't have any control over it. i am not the one to make the decision. i do not have the final say.

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it's nice to hear from an old friend. it's nice to catch up and see how things have changed. nice to hear where she is now and that she is happy and doing just fine. she may have found other friends, new friends... but i'll always consider her as one. we have after all, been through a lot and have shared a lot. we may be at different places now, be different persons... but i'll always cherish the memories i have of her...

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again, i just need to hear it. i just need to see it, to feel it. i just need to pacify this craziness within me!

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you've always put me in your world... and i hope that i can do the same. this is my guilty fault. i hope to work on it. i hope to fight for it...

dreaming of this momentary bliss

I spent the day lying in your arms
Smelling your skin
Cuddled and embraced with your love
Hearing sweet words of affection

Just seeing your smile light up your face
Your glowing eyes focused on me
Your nose pressed against my cheek
Your heart beating against mine

I can drown in this moment forever
I will gladly stay in this sweet surrender… for always…

"gravity"

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long...

i crave...

kept thinking about it for the past two days now. i don't know why, but i'm super craving for cuppycakes! i hate not being able to order from my good friend in time for valentines... but, there's always a next time! no need to fret...

but to see something as beautiful as these...

who wouldn't crave???

never give up

"one thing i learned, is that in the face of true love, you just don't give up... even if the object of your affection is begging you to..."

xoxo, chuck bass

long distance

this came at a later time than i needed it... nevertheless, it made me feel sad. i wish i could have told you this sooner...

this long distance is killing me.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYJXna1Z3co)

silent screams

i need to vent but i can't. i want to shout, i want to cry, i don't know what to feel. i'm not in any mood to explain myself, yet i still want to scream at the top of my lungs. i want to cry, but i find no tears coming to the surface. i'm not thinking about anything in particular, but my mind is racing against my thoughts. i don't know what is happening to me, yet i know exactly why i'm feeling this way.

i hate him for not reaching out to me. for not understanding that i have this need to be reassured. that i have this need for space, but not to be abandoned. i hate him for not making any move to contact me. i hate him for being the same stubborn person as i am. i hate him for going out without my knowing, eventhough i know that i don't have any reason to stop him to. i hate him for not saying good night. i hate him for not remembering me, and for making me feel taken for granted.

but i don't really hate him, that i know. i just need to know that he's still there.

on the other hand, i felt bad coz i learned that he turned down my gift. something that was given from the heart. it was something that was bought and given before things got really messed up, but he didn't realize that. he just felt like turning it down because it was given by me. i tried to talk to him through ym, but he ignored me. after that, he went offline. again, i was ignored. i know he's not ready to forgive me, but the least he could have done was to at least say something to me. even if it meant i'll be reading the words "get lost". i hate silent treatment, and he knows that.

again i find myself wandering... i'm in one place but my thoughts are elsewhere. my body is here, but the heart is still looking...